Care for the Caregiver
"…"The second is this, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." - Mark 12:31(NASB)
As caregivers, we know how important it is to love the person we're caring for. Sometimes it comes naturally, especially when you're caring for a family member or close friend. On other occasions, it's more difficult to love. People can be rude, hurtful, or just ungrateful for the help we're providing. But as much as we want to love people, whether it's an easy task or a difficult one, we will be ineffective if we don't first love ourselves.
Jesus said we should love our neighbor as, or, in the same way, we love ourselves. Loving ourselves is more than a self-esteem issue, it deals with the fundamental way we treat ourselves on a daily basis. Sometimes we treat ourselves worse than we would an enemy. We talk negatively about ourselves, we don't take the time to eat when we need to, we deprive ourselves of sleep, and we even work so hard at caring for others that we don't have any energy left over to take care of our own needs, always putting our desires on the back burner thinking that we will get to them later.
Constantly giving to others without taking the time to replenish your resources will eventually cause emotional bankruptcy, or burn-out, at which point you can no longer care for anyone, let alone yourself. In order to avoid burn-out, you must consciously, actively and daily care for yourself. Taking time to sleep, eat, and relax will help replenish your energy, lift your mood, and give you strength to continue caring for and loving those around you.
What would change in your life if you were given permission to love yourself? What would you do differently? What would you stop doing? Or, to put it another way, what do you wish someone else would do for you? It's easy to overlook ourselves when someone else's needs are more urgent, but repeatedly ignoring our desires can lead to a sort of "martyr syndrome" where we begin to feel sorry for ourselves because our needs are not being met. The first thing we should realize is that we do have needs, and they are important!
If no one else is available to pamper you, pamper yourself! There's nothing wrong with taking yourself to a movie, going to get a pedicure, buying yourself flowers, going to a book store to read or getting a massage. Don't wait for someone else to do it for you. Love yourself now! Love yourself, and then you will be able to fully love your neighbor.