Pam Loeffler

I feel so blessed. Both my cancer journeys -- the medical one and the spiritual one -- have been wonderful. God took the opportunity of my cancer to get my attention and draw me into a deeper relationship with Him. He led me to Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA) in Tulsa for my medical treatment, which is like being at a resort with cancer as the focus, and for my spiritual life, which really grew and flourished there.

For me, this journey began early in 2008 when my dad was dying. I knew something wasn't right in my body but told myself it was just stress, and when the stress was gone, my body would be acting right. But that didn't happen. I went ahead and scheduled a colonoscopy for May but continued to deny I had a problem even though in my heart, I knew they'd find something. And they did.

The doctor couldn't have given me more devastating news following the colonoscopy. He told me I had a tumor, it looked cancerous, was probably late stage and probably metastized elsewhere. He then sent me for a PET scan. While we were awaiting results, my husband Tim and I went to City of Hope Hospital in Los Angeles for a consultation. I didn't want to receive care locally. But at City of Hope, I felt rushed at the appointment and like I was on a cattle train.

Then a client of mine from my photography business called and said she'd seen CTCA advertised on television and had called them. She told me I should call and gave me the number. I did call and talked to an Oncology Information Specialist who told me she'd get everything set up for me to be seen. I told my husband to just humor me and that I wanted to go and see what it was all about. This was blind faith, as I hadn't seen any commercials and didn't know anything more than what I'd learned on my phone call.

A week later, we were in Tulsa. We knew the second day that CTCA was where I'd have my treatment done. It was a "no brainer." Not only was everything under one roof, saving me from long drives into, around and out of Los Angeles, looking for various offices for tests and appointments, but you got results back from tests right away and everyone was absolutely compassionate, friendly and caring. This was the exact opposite of what I'd been experiencing at home.

The PET scan I had at CTCA showed that my doctor at home had guessed in error. My cancer hadn't metastized. It was contained in the rectal area, and it wasn't late stage but probably Stage 2 or 3.

My treatment plan started with some chemo and six weeks of radiation to shrink the tumor before surgery. After six weeks of recovery from that, I was back for surgery in September. Tim and I had been hoping for a rectal-sparing procedure, but an ultrasound showed that where the tumor was located, that wasnt going to be possible. I was pretty well devastated.

We went to see one of the nurses in Education to talk about the upcoming colostomy and learn all we needed to know. But I was in shock. I just couldn't listen. Looking at my face, Tim asked the nurse if she could slow down a bit. She stopped talking and looked at me. She asked if I were a Christian. When I said yes, she asked if she could pray for me. And she did.

That was a turning point for me, when she prayed. All of a sudden, I could listen, ask questions, and I was open to it and to the reality that Id be going through life with a colostomy bag.

When we left her office, I felt like God said, "Girl, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on." So, I did. And once I accepted it, there were no more tears, and I was perfectly fine. And, in actuality, it was probably easier wrapping my mind around that than around the fact that I'd be going through serious chemo after the surgery.

It was the end of December 2008 when I started chemo. I finished 10 rounds of it on May 12, one year to the day from my diagnosis day. It's now September 2009, and my blood work is clear, and my tests all look great.

I've had great medical care at CTCA and have seen God move in amazing ways in my life. He's been there with me through it all, and even made His presence known to me in many ways. One day, every time I turned around, another Psalm was hitting me in the face. Friends were sending them to me. They were coming to me from so many places. I finally looked up and said, "OK, God, I get it."

Through this cancer journey, I've really spent time talking to God in prayer, and He's answered my prayers. And I've been blessed by other patients and their families who are Christians here at CTCA, like Kathy Kelly and her husband Bob. They've influenced my walk with God. At CTCA, one of the things I've enjoyed is the fellowship with other people who have a strong faith in God. God is really at work at CTCA. Wherever you go there, you here people sharing their God stories. It blesses you, because this doesnt happen everywhere. When I'm away from CTCA, I really miss that fellowship going on.

One thing I've prayed for at home is that God would lead me in the direction He wants, that He'd do with me what He needs me to do. Because of all the cancer treatment this past year, I will now have to rebuild my photography business. As an Operation Love Reunited photographer, I have been doing free photo sessions for servicemen and women who are being deployed and their families. They really appreciate it, as I make an album they can take with them to remember their family while they're gone. It's my way of giving back.

But, recently, my church called and asked me to teach Sunday School. That's new, and now that I'm feeling better, I'm open to it. I know it's not going to stop there, though. God is going to move and cause other things to happen. I know He has plans for me, and I'm excited to see what lies ahead.

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