Debbie Reaves

I think when John was finally diagnosed with cancer, in a way, it was a relief. He’d been sick for so long – two years. He’d smoked for 40 years, so it really wasn’t a surprise. I think I just kind of knew cancer was the problem, even though the doctor had been saying it was simply pneumonia or bronchitis and had been treating it as such.

In January 2005, because John wasn’t getting better, the doctor finally ordered a chest x-ray, found a mass and sent John to a pulmonologist for a biopsy. I’d just returned home from a mission trip to Africa when we received the phone call in mid-February saying the biopsy showed cancer.

The pulmonologist recommended John see a surgeon. Two weeks later, the surgeon opened John up, closed him back up and pronounced he could do nothing for him, because the cancer was on the spine. He recommended an oncologist. When we saw her, she said he could eat whatever he wanted, that “it wouldn’t make any difference” to his health. Her method of treatment for him was going to be one round of chemo, one round of radiation, then take a scan and see what had happened.

While we were waiting for this treatment plan to begin, God woke me up one morning at 3 a.m. and led me to turn on the television. When I did, there was a commercial for Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA) in Tulsa. I told John about it, but he didn’t want to go that far from home for treatment. But then, the oncologist in Springfield kept putting things off one week after another, so he finally told me to call CTCA. I called after 6 p.m. on a Friday night and received a phone call back Saturday morning. The oncology information specialist I spoke with took care of everything, and we had an appointment and were being seen the following Wednesday, March 16, 2005.

The oncologist who examined my husband ordered a bone scan and showed us on the scan that based on where the cancer was located, surgery shouldn’t have been attempted. He then recommended a treatment plan of six weeks of radiation with chemo once a week during those six weeks. Then, we came back every three weeks after that for six months for additional chemo. After that, John took Tarceva for a year. Following a PET scan early this year, John was given six more chemo treatments.

On July 17, 2007, the oncologist told us there are no signs of cancer in John’s lungs. I don’t know who lit up most with that news – the doctor, me or John.

What has been the hardest for me has been seeing John so sick at times. It’s not that you don’t trust God, but you wonder sometimes when this is going to end … how much more can someone go through? Here was a man who’d always taken care of his family and now he couldn’t work; he could only lay around; life, as we’d know it, was over. At one point, he couldn’t remember anything; his mind just wasn’t working. He couldn’t even remember to take his medication, so I stayed home with him for three months to take care of him.

One of the things I learned through all of it, though, is that, as a caregiver, you do need to take time for yourself, no matter how busy you are with the other person.

I also think you either pull apart with cancer or you grow closer. We grew closer because of all we went through together. It really makes you understand what’s important – family and friends – and that you need to let people know how special they are to you. Now that John’s feeling better, I think it makes him feel good to be able to do some things for me, like make me a sandwich or whatever, so that it’s not just me doing for him. You just really learn to appreciate each other more.

God can use any circumstance in life for good if you allow Him to. Some of the good that’s come out of it for us have been the people we’ve met at CTCA. They’re like family. We call and check on each other. Your other friends, who haven’t gone through cancer, are still your friends. But, here at CTCA, we’re all in the same boat. People understand … know how to address the issue, know what to say.

At this point in the journey, we’re getting excited. We’re 29 months out from the initial diagnosis. Sometimes, I want to take a picture of John and send it with a letter to those doctors who told us there wasn’t anything they could do and that John didn’t have many months to live, letting them know they were wrong. We’ve just gotten a new puppy, a little dachshund, which is the highlight of John’s life. It’s good. He has a new purpose with that dog.

This whole cancer journey has been an experience. It hasn’t always been easy, but I’ve had a peace. God has two ways of healing – He either takes you home and heals you in heaven, or He heals you here. Either way, you’re healed, and I knew He’d take care of John.

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