Fix Those Cracks Now

Every one therefore that heareth these words of mine, and doeth them, shall be likened unto a wise man, who built his house upon the rock: and the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and if fell not: for it was founded upon the rock. And every one that heareth these words of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, who built his house upon the sand: and the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and smote upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall thereof. Matt. 7:24-27

The other day, I sat in on a family conference here at Cancer Treatment Centers of America with a husband, wife and one of their grown daughters. The husband is the cancer patient, and each person in that family, as they sat in that room, felt betrayed by the others. You could see it in their eyes, hear it in their words and story, feel it in the accusations they both voiced and implied. They were angry, distrustful, stressed, tense, wounded, bitter, scared and sorrowful.

Evidently, over the years, as things had arisen in their home, instead of confronting those issues and dealing with them as a family, they’d either avoided the conflict, reacted to the issues in a non-helpful and healthy pattern or built up resentment, mistrust and a loss of respect.

Now, faced with a major health crisis like cancer, all the cracks in the foundation of their relationships were showing. They’d let them go day in and day out, instead of making the repairs they should have, and now, with the storm upon them, everything was crumbling. The foundation and the structure of their family was filled with rot, rust and the poor materials they’d used for patching.

And it wasn’t like they hadn’t known what was right and what they should or could have done. They professed to be church-going, Bible-studying Christians. But, like many of us, what they knew in their heads to be the right thing to do, had never progressed down to their hearts and out into their words, thoughts and actions. They hadn’t let God’s Holy Spirit renew their thinking and transform their lives. They were living in spiritual poverty instead of as children of the King of Kings, making use of the tools, guidelines and lifestyle He’s given us that lead to freedom, joy and richness of relationship and life.

Like a disease themselves, unlove and disrespect, poor coping mechanisms, emotional separation, manipulation, selfish and self-centered thinking, among other things, had made inroads all through their lives and family ties, and now were burgeoning, bearing fruit, exploding in actions and words that were tearing them even farther apart.

And all this while the father was trying to deal with cancer and needed to keep his immune system from being further depressed spiritually, emotionally, mentally, nutritionally, physically. Instead, the opposite was taking place. His immune system not only had to try to fight the cancer, it also had to deal with the fear, conflict, stress, loss of control, anger, feelings of betrayal, sense of abandonment and loss, that were the result of his family being swept away, not just by the strain of the cancer, but by their unhealthy and dysfunctional relationships.

What should have been able to withstand the trial of the cancer, what should have been able to work together to provide him greater support, encouragement and love, was burning down around him like Rome around Nero.

If you’re facing a major health crisis or are in the middle of one, and you know there are cracks in the relationships you treasure, fix them now. Don’t wait another day for them to grow even wider and bigger and rot from the inside out.

If you’ve wounded someone with words you’ve said or things you’ve done, repent, ask forgiveness and make it right. If you’ve become bitter and angry from things done to you, talk it through with the person who’s hurt you, forgive, let those things go so they don’t eat you up. If you need to correct attitudes or actions, don’t wait any longer, fix them now. If you’re the one fighting cancer, it will help your body more effectively work with your treatment plan and fight the disease. If you’re part of the care team for someone else fighting cancer, you can strengthen them in their battle.

There’s no guarantee of tomorrow … not for you or for anyone else. Keep your family strong, your home intact and able to withstand the hurricanes of life. They come to all of us, and God has made provision for us to overcome in the middle of them. Jesus tells us to not just hear His words with our heads, but to do them … let them penetrate our hearts and lives … and not just part of what He says to do, but all of what He says. There’s power in what He says is the right way to think, talk, behave. That power is like a sealant over what’s right, strong and beautiful in your life … it keeps rot, rust and decay out, in all its various forms, and keeps your home standing strong.

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